Conversations with a significant other can be challenging at times. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for a while, sometimes you either draw a blank, or maybe you have too many topics on your mind, and you cannot choose one. Here are a few ideas to keep in the back of your mind- just in case.
Ask Yourself Why
There are many reasons that you might struggle to have a conversation with your significant other. If you are struggling, the first question to ask yourself is ‘why?’ Sometimes, the reason is simple; other times, it is a bit more complicated. Whatever the case, figuring out why you or your partner are having trouble coming up with a conversation topic is the first step.
Reasons Your Partner May Not Be Talking
There are many different reasons why your partner may not be having conversations with you at this time. The exact reason depends on your partner, but in most cases, the reason is most likely not what you think. Here is are just a few potential reasons:
In some cases, simply being very tired means a lack of communication. Having to deal with work, family, friends, and other things that come up may mean your partner may simply be too tired to engage in conversation at that moment. In that case, postponing the discussion and giving your partner time to rest might be the best course of action.
Being Engaged in Something Else
Your partner may have other things on their mind at the moment. This may be a project at work, plans with friends, or something completely random. Whatever the case, asking about what’s on their mind might get them to open up a bit. On the other hand, if your partner doesn’t want to talk, it might also mean that they aren’t quite ready to share their ideas, which is also potentially ok.
Drawing a Blank
In some cases, your partner may be drawing a blank when it comes to conversion. This may be a byproduct of exhaustion or simply too many things going on in their mind. Whatever the case, suggesting a topic of conversation can be potentially appreciated.
In some cases, your partner may not want to talk or may wish to talk about something else. It may be a good idea to follow their lead at times- especially if they are stressed or tired. On the other hand, if the topic is very important, setting a time in the near future or communicating about why the conversation topic is important is key to ensuring that you have that important discussion.
Question Ideas You Should Peruse
It helps to know some questions to get a conversation going. These questions may be redundant depending on the types of conversations you’ve had with your partner thus far.
Tell Me About Your Perfect Day
This question is great because if you haven’t had the conversation already, it can give you great ideas for a surprise for your partner. Plus, you can learn more about their favorite interests. Note that the answer could also change with time, so if you’ve been together for a while, asking this question can help you refresh your knowledge.
When Do You Think You Can Be Too Hard on Yourself?
This is a complex question that can be used to gauge your partner’s aspirations, personalities, and even their own goals. In some cases, that question may also reveal things that your partner is trying to resolve within themselves. This question is evergreen- it can also be asked at any time in your relationship to gauge your partner’s changing goals.
How Do You Feel When You are Worn Down?
This is another great question to ask your partner from time to time to see how they are doing. Maybe this is a new partner, or perhaps this is a long-term relationship where you just want to check in and see what your partner is thinking. Whatever the case, this question is an excellent opening to do an overall check-in and help each other during potentially challenging situations.
Who Was The Most Toxic Person You’ve Known?
This is a great question, assuming you haven’t had the conversation already. ‘Toxic’ people tend to take much more than they give and often turn their back when the situation gets tough. Plus, it helps you identify your partner’s triggers and what they consider undesirable.
What Habits Do You Have That Annoy Other People?
This is an excellent question to ask a new partner about potentially problematic habits. These habits may not be annoying to you, or they may be. On the other hand, this is also a great way to start a discussion about a potentially irritating habit that you’ve seen in your partner.
What Are the Two Biggest Lessons You’ve Learned from Your Previous Relationships?
This is a great question to ask a new partner because this will inevitably teach you about the partner’s relationship history. Keep in mind that some people are not comfortable discussing their relationships with others, so they may tell you about the lessons but may keep the details private.
Want to Pick a Discussion Topic?
This is an excellent, open-ended question to ask your partner. In some cases, your partner may choose a topic; on the other hand, they may offer to have you select a topic. Whatever the case, this will prompt a discussion- if only a discussion about choosing an upcoming topic to discuss.
What Are Some Things That You’ve Always Wanted to Try in the Bedroom?
These topics are hot and fun, but they might also open up a proverbial can of worms. Before you ask this question, make sure that you are comfortable with other ‘bedroom’ discussions and that you are ready for potential surprises. Pro tip: if you are surprised by your partner’s revelation, try to be accepting. This doesn’t mean doing something you’re uncomfortable with, but maybe discussing their ideas, if you feel comfortable, will result in future fun bedroom activities.
- There are many reasons for not knowing how to start a conversation with your partner.
- There are many reasons why your partner may not start a conversation with you.
- Gauging the situation may be the first step; sometimes one, or both, of you may be too stressed and tired to talk. In which case, words of affirmation and other love language signals, however small, will suffice.